The Beginning of Everything
I can still remember the first time we enrolled as cadets. We were so young. Never could I imagine that I would become a Master — to navigate a big vessel with its people and to deliver the cargos.

First Impressions
When I bring the vessels from one port to another port — especially to a new country — the first person that they want to see is the Master. Their eyes straight away look at the big guys. They have the perception that a Master is a big, tough guy, like the ones you see in the movies. So when they see me, they say, "Oh, you are a Master? Are you sure? How old are you?"
They were very surprised when they saw me — because of my physical size.
I am quite small compared to the guys on board.

Proving Herself
Sometimes they can be quite agitating, because they have some kind of inferiority complex, especially in some countries. Whenever they see that I am a female seafarer, they are quite surprised. And sometimes they have some kind of doubt whether you can bring the vessel in.
But you just have to be professional. Show that you are fierce enough. And you are strict enough. And you have what it takes to bring the vessel.

Strength in Support
I feel blessed that my colleagues onboard are very, very supportive towards me. Regardless of whether you're a man or woman — our skills combined together — I think we can enhance the maritime industry.
When we have two genders working together on board the vessel, it'll thrive. And we can explore even more change in the future.
This is the highlight of my career.

A Dream, A Detour, A Uniform
My dream was to become a pilot, but then I failed the exam. So I just went to this booth and saw someone wearing a white uniform. She looked very nice in that uniform. Then — ta-da — I got into ALAM. Spontaneously. Randomly.
My father's dream was to become a seafarer, but I didn't even know that. He kept it a secret from us, because my grandma didn't let any of her sons sail. So, luckily I got the sailing experience.

The Only Girl on Board
The first time I was on board, I was the only girl. It was really scary for me. Some men — not all — they judge you because you're on board.
People might see me as a girl. So they say, "You're soft." But I'm really the opposite. I can repair this. I can do that. Most of the men's jobs — I can do, actually.

Her Family, Her Motivation
I recently bought a house for my family. At that time, we had nowhere to go. You can't do anything, because you're on board. I felt really sad seeing my family like that. That was my motivation.
One time, I got injured on board. I thought to myself, "Is this you? Is this what you're going to continue?" But when I talked to my family, they'd say, "Everyone at home is very proud of you." My dad would say, "You know this is my dream, right? It's like you're living my dream. But it's okay, because you're my princess." Every time I see my mom smiling, my dad smiling — that's when I feel like it's okay.

The Captain She Dreams To Be
One for all, all for one. On board, you have to be a family. And that's what ALAM teaches. We are all family.
I really want to become a captain — to see how I can command people, how I can take care of the ship. My own. Seeing your parents being proud of you, and saying proudly to everyone,
"This is the captain. This is my daughter."

A Need to Prove Myself
I felt as if it might be hard for me to adjust at first. Maybe they thought I couldn't do anything because I'm a woman.
At first, I didn't understand anything. Even if you gave me a manual, I didn't know how to read it.
But over time, I grew. I learned a lot from ALAM. Discipline. Skills. How to react when there's an emergency.

Standing My Ground
When dry docking, sometimes when they open the machinery, they'll ask for tools. When they see me, they don't want to talk to me. They always go, "Can you call your boss?"
In those moments, you have to be firm. You say, "Just tell me what you want, then I will go and pick that up for you." That's all.

Facing Everyday Doubts
They always say, "Can you do that? Are you able to do that?" But that can change. We can change that. At first, I thought I cannot lift heavy things, but I actually can. As long as we get the job done.
If men can, why can't we?

Carrying the Name
People don't really understand what we do on board. What we have to do. What responsibilities we hold.
Just don't give up. Be prepared. Be strong. You carry the name of women seafarers everywhere you go.

A Different Dream, A New Direction
I found ALAM on Facebook.
I was actually interested in aeronautical engineering because my father was in that industry. He advised me to do something different. But I was still interested in mechanical drawings, structures — so I decided to choose maritime as my career.

What ALAM Taught Me
I was 18 years old when I joined ALAM. I was really weak. Every day we had activities like push-ups, pumping, side rolls, squats. Day by day, the counts and the sets increased. At first, we thought of them as punishments. After that, we found it was fun — all of us colleagues doing it together.
They were making us stronger, more disciplined.

Pressure, Panic and Steam
One time, while we were preparing for a discharging operation, a colleague found that the machinery was showing high pressure. Within a second, it blasted. The whole engine room became steamy. You couldn't see anything. You couldn't move anywhere.
I was blank.
After some time, we found that this happened because it was fish season at that place. Thousands of fish got choked in the tubes. We managed to finish the operation safely. We were all tired, but happy.

Proving Herself
As a female seafarer, the men don't always allow me to carry heavy things. To avoid accidents, they are there to help us. I felt like maybe I'm not capable. Maybe I'm not strong enough.
But after some time, I voluntarily did the work. And they were like, "Okay, she can do it." When you initiate yourself, and you do the job completely and safely, then you gain trust.

Equal at Sea
I feel proud of myself because I can contribute something that I've never dreamt of. I really never dreamt that I was going to be a female seafarer. What ALAM taught us — it doesn't matter whether you're female or male. They just treated us equally.
The moment you feel like you can do this, you're always welcome.

A Sudden Detour, A New Beginning
I was studying chemical engineering. My father was paying for my studies. Then, out of nowhere, my father passed away. My uncle — who was supposed to join ALAM years ago — said, why not try it?
When I went to ALAM, I had a very hard time adapting to it. Every weekend when I would come back to ALAM, I would cry for one hour in the car. You have to be punctual, you have to dress up in a certain way. But then when I started doing my sea time, that's when I felt, "Oh, this is my place."
All those small, small things actually made me more disciplined.

Finding Calm in the Currents
My cabin had a porthole. Once, there was a full moon. And it had direct light on the sea. The reflection was so pretty. It was surrounded by a few stars, not like the ones we see here. When you're at sea, you get mesmerised by nature. You feel very close to it.
I felt peace at sea.

Learning, Doubt, and Belonging
Sometimes I did get, "Oh, you're so tiny. How are you going to carry this? How are you going to carry that?" There were times when people said things like, "How come you don't know this? You should know all of this."
That's when I felt like maybe I should go back home — I'm not competent enough.

The Power of Teamwork
On the ship, it's just us. We have to take care of ourselves. We have to know all things on the ship, so if something goes wrong, we can attend to the problem.
So that's one thing that I'm always grateful about. If I can't carry, I'm going to ask for help and they are definitely going to help. If we can't help each other, then why are we there?

What the Sea Taught Me
No matter what, people are going to judge you. Their words don't matter. Make sure you have the knowledge, make sure you have the strength to prove that you are also capable of working on board. It doesn't necessarily need to be men. Women also could do this.
I'll see how far I can go.

Choosing a Different Course
I wanted to be different from my sisters. Two work on land, one works in the air. Working in the maritime industry — on water — I might prove that I'm different. I had a feeling that my life would be better at sea, in the maritime industry. It was a gut feeling.

The First Voyage
I remember vividly. The swell was quite high and big. I just kept on looking left and right, up and down. "How is the ship going to be? How is the sea going to be? Will I be okay? What if I fall into the sea?"
Then the feeling of excitement came over. And I just looked ahead.

Low Moments

There was this one time I felt very down. I made a mistake. I felt like I wasn't good enough. And then when I got to my room, I just cried. I didn't call my family, I didn't want them to worry. It was quite hard without my family being there. I had no one to rely on.
I just wanted to go back.
All the negative thoughts and feelings got to me. I prayed to God — just give me the strength to continue on this path. Turn over a new leaf. I can push through this.

A Moment That Made It Worth It

I was looking out to sea while my friend was doing some tasks. Then suddenly, I saw dolphins. At sunset. It was spectacular.
I just got that feeling that I was born to be here. I'm glad to be here. Even though it's hard and challenging, this is for me.

What She Hopes to Prove

I've become very mature since I entered ALAM.
I can prove that women can do anything, even in a male-dominated industry. Stop with the negative thoughts. Just prove them wrong. There's no harm in trying.
There's no one to stop me.